No One Ever Talked About Him

17 Jul

No one ever talked about Him, but I knew anyway. It was obvious. I tried to ask about God but no one in my family seemed to know much about him. Some people didn’t believe He was really real. But I knew. Instinctively, I just did. The summer I was ten, some one new was in charge of the lighthouse, and wouldn’t let me go up without an adult. Didn’t they know they were keeping me from God? I had a lot to say to Him. Somehow I believed I needed to be higher to the sky, for Him to hear me. No one had the time to take me up to the lighthouse, and they didn’t know what I did up there anyway. No one knew I asked the birds to carry a thank you, or a message, or a sadness, or a question,  off to a God who didn’t even know my name.

Dejected, I went off crabbing with my brother on Andy’s pier. I threw in my crab traps and softly dangled my feet over the side, just above the water. A guy next to us caught a blowfish! It was about the coolest fish I’d ever seen. We weren’t having much luck catching crabs. I decided to waste some time in Andy’s Bait and Gift Shop, just looking around. That’s where
I saw it. I tried to push my way in to get a good look into the glass case. I couldn’t make out all the words on the card, but I could tell it was about God. It was like a poem about him, and glued on top was a sand dollar. I needed it. I had to have it. Someone finally asked me if they could help me, and I asked them the price of the card with the shell on it. I don’t remember the cost of it today, but I do know that I immediately calculated the money that my brother and I got for icecream at Dairy Queen. If I convinced him to buy a popsicle instead of a sundae, I could use the rest to buy my shell. I sat back down next to my brother on the pier. I started to tell him about the card and shell. My throat got the crying lump in it, but I didn’t know why. I could hardly say it. He waited patiently to hear what was so hard for me to say. “There is something in there that I really, really want. It’s a shell, but it comes with a card about God. You don’t know, but I think about God alot I need to read that card.I need to have that shell. Can I use our ice cream money? If you just get a popsicle, I’ll have enough”.

This is why I love my brother so much. Without hesitation, he just said yes, sure. That’s how he is. If he can help, he will. not every eight year old would take a popsicle instead of a sundae. Luckily, this one would. I sauntered up to the counter, and stared down at the sand dollar. With money in hand , I waited my turn. I left Andy’s Bait and Gift Shop with a small plain brown bag clenched in my sweaty hand. My heart was pounding. I ran back to the pier to show my brother what I had bought. He was busy getting a bunch of crabs out of our traps and into the cooler. Once the traps hit the water again, and I had his attention, I removed my treasure from the bag. I examined the shell, turning it over in my hand to look at both sides.Then I started to read the card……….

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4 Responses to “No One Ever Talked About Him”

  1. Molly July 21, 2012 at 6:06 am #

    Hello! I just found your blog and you already have me hooked. I can’t wait to here the rest of your story.

    My parents divorced when I was 6, so I can relate to some of the feelings you’ve described, except I don’t ever remember talking to God as a child. I don’t think I ever said even the smallest prayer (heartfelt anyway) until my mid early 20’s…

    I will be back to hear more of your story!!

    • lighthousecatholicgirl July 26, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

      Thank you Molly. I appreciate your comment. It’s a long story, and one that I can’t tell without crying. I thought I’d write it down. I want to write a book about it, and thought this might be a good way to start it. I hope you will continue to read it and tell me what you think.

    • lighthousecatholicgirl October 15, 2012 at 11:18 pm #

      would love your opinion, if you think it would be an interesting book.

  2. lazydisciple October 12, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

    I love your brother. How sweet

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