A women without a man is like a fish without a bicycle

4 Aug

I met a new friend named Debbie, when I started junior high. She was kind, and never sarcastic, and she talked about God. Debbie was unlike anyone I’d ever met before. Her family should have walked right out of a black and white tv sitcom, like Ozzy and Harriet. She had a mother and father both in the same house, they were married a long time. She had an older brother that didn’t live at home and a sister that did.

Her sister was so kind and loving towards her, while mine beat the crap out of me daily. She had anger problems from the time our dad moved away. Even the tranquilizers the doctor gave her, didn’t work. I hated being home. You know what they say. You can leave home, but you take yourself with you. Unfortunately this was true the day I showed up at her house wearing my ” A Women Without A Man, Is Like A Fish Without a Bicycle” t-shirt. It was a birthday gift from one of my feminist”Aunts” ie- Bob’s sisters. Debbies mother was so confused by my shirt because in their house the Man had value and repect. Around the corner at my house, it was like being raised in a Woody Allen movie.  I can’t even let myself get into the details here. I’m sure she wished her daughter made a better friend than me.

One day we heard the news that an older boy from our neighborhood went home to find that his parents had killed themselves. Debbie and I had a conversation about suicide that haunts me to this day. She said that God has given us life, and to take your own life that he has given to you, is a major mortal sin. I didn’t know about mortal sin, but what she said next, I’ll never forget. She said if you kill yourself, you go to hell, and there you will be suffering forever.

Those words have kept me alive. I have felt like ending it all, I’ve felt that dispair in my life, but now I knew. I would be in hell for all eternity, which was certainly worse than whatever I was suffering at the time. I had no selfworth, but I was afraid of hell, even if I didn’t know much about it at the time. I was embarrassed that I didn’t know anything about God so I was reluctant about asking her too many questions. I just tried to observe.

At her house they had pictures of Jesus, and a cross with Him on it, like the one at Kelly’s house. Her mother sang along to the catholic radio station she played in her kitchen. She wore an apron while she cooked and they prayed before meals.

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