five years in fear

6 Aug

It was a challange because I didn’t think about what was beneath the hair. People. I wasn’t good at talking to people, by this time I was pretty shaken and very quiet. On lunch breaks I didn’t try to sit with any of the girls, I went through drive thru’s and ate in my car. I was great at beauty school though. I got perfect grades and did excellent work. The senior citizens came and had their hair done. I didn’t know what to say, but they really helped me become comfortable talking to strangers. I even started to talk to my classmates, who later informed me that they thought I was a snob when I first started school. I laughed, I was just scared to death , that’s all. I got used to not talking to people, now I had to get used to trying to feel confident. I was working through it.The worst part of the day was when school ended. I knew I would see him in my rear view mirror. I was trying to get away from him. He kept trying to get me to talk to him. I heard it all before, he was sorry, he wouldn’t hurt me again, I was busy working full time and going to school. He was losing his hold on me. He swung between threats and apologies. If I didn’t come over he was going to cut the break lines on my mothers car. He was going to set my house on fire while myself and my family were sleeping, and it would be my fault when we were all dead. He didn’t like losing his grip, the fear was dissipating. I had lost my will to live so threatening my life didn’t carry much weight. I didn’t care. I said “do it”. I refused to be around him so he stalked me. I wasted five years in fear.

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