Before you were formed in your mothers womb, I knew you

7 Oct

I walked from my apartment to Saint Martins Catholic Church. I walked passed it so many times but this time I was going to get the courage to go in. I wanted to tell God in person, “thank you for “J”. I walked up the steep hill, and tried the heavy wooden door. It was open. I peeked inside. There were stained glass windows and rows of wooden benches on both sides all the way to the front. In my head I said “God?”  “Are you in here?” I felt “I AM”. I sat down and put my hands together “I hope I’m not doing something wrong by coming in here, I wanted to make sure you hear me say thank you. I prayed a prayer to you, I kind of bug you alot, for not being one of “yours” . You don’t know me, but I want to thank you, I know you answered my prayer. I asked you to give me someone who could love me, that I could have a family, that I could have a normal life.”J” is the best thing to ever happen in my life we are talking about getting married, and love each other very much. I know You gave me this Gift, it has God written all over it! I appreciate so much, You giving me a chance. I was the little girl in the lighthouse, I used to talk to you up there. I stopped talking to You for a long time, but things were worse. People are coming in, I should probably leave. ” In a whole empty church, an older man and woman sat down right next to me. I felt panic, I had to get out, it was starting. People were filing in fast.I couldn’t believe as I started to slide down the other side to head out , people sat down and I was trapped in the middle of the bench. Organ music, started everyone stood up. Boy did I feel like I was in big trouble! While everyone sang I begged “Please forgive me, I’ll leave as soon as I can . I never meant to stay. I just wanted to thank you in person.” They sang a song I never heard before, and I just watched and followed. The man next to me handed me a book and smiled, I didn’t know what page to turn to.I felt like a party crasher, I didn’t belong here. Mumbling prayers all together, I couldn’t understand the words. The man on the cross hung with his head down, it seemed as though no one noticed him but me. Jesus. People read from the bible but all I heard was my own heartbeat.

Then the preist said these words loudly, slowly, clearly. “Before I formed you in your mothers womb, I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you. I appointed you a profit to the nations.

Every cell in my body repeated what I just heard, over and over again.You know me, You know me? I felt a butterfly inside, a big one! There were prayers , there were songs and from here It looked as though he was holding up my sand dollar.

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